Internship at the Orphanage!

So since I have been in Uganda, I have started an internship at an orphanage and school for the blind and visually impaired. I am able to go every Tuesday and Thursday and it has been the best experience since I have been in Africa. When I get there every day, the students are in school and I am able to sit in the classrooms with them and help them take notes in their braille notes (i included some pictures below), which they freehand, by the way and it is completely incredible and mind blowing. In the beginning, it was a struggle to learn names and get a relationship going with the children (because, if I’m being honest, they all look alike, with the same haircut, bright yellow uniform, and cute little backpacks), but now it is just the easiest thing ever to walk up to any of the 200 plus children and start talking to them. Typically, when I go, I am able to spend time with them, and also time in the offices learning about their lives from a social work perspective. Anytime I get to spend time with them, I am blown away by the way these kids are there for each other. The seeing ones help the ones who can’t, with almost everything. They hold each other’s arms to guide them around and not run into things, they read off the notes on the board so they can write them out in braille, and even play with each other and have the highest patience level for their friends. It is amazing to just sit there and watch it happen so naturally.
            When I am not with the children, I am able to work in the offices and look through the children’s files and backgrounds. Many of the children are not even completely blind and maybe just need glasses to correct their vision, but have been labeled with the title “blind”, taught braille, and treated the way the rest of the totally non-seeing kids have. It is unbelievable to be able to go through and read some of these files. There were things that happened to some of these kids that I literally started tearing up over while reading it. Unfortunately I’m not allowed to say specifically what, due to confidentiality issues, but just know that these kids have been through so much and are only so little, it breaks my heart. I couldn't help but read through these and pray for each one specifically. That God would have His hand on their futures and provide for their needs physically, spiritually, and otherwise. Even down to the simple things like providing food from day to day. I prayed that not only would I have an impact and positive time there, but that those in authority permanently, like the teachers and social workers, would be able to significantly invest in these kids’ lives, because there is such a need for a constant relationship and guidance in their lives. They crave friendships and will run up to just about anyone and love on them, calling you “auntie” or “uncle” in the cutest little high pitched voices.

            The other day, when I had free time, I went to just spend time with the children at the orphanage and they were so enthusiastic about a "mzungu" (white) auntie taking time to eat guavas off trees and play on the slide. It was wonderful. They have even helped me learn a little braille myself and stumble over trying to learn Luganda, the local language here. I can already tell that these children are going to have a special place in my heart. By then end of this semester, it is going to be so hard to say goodbye to all my little new friends. 

tell it like it is.

"Here, my life is extraordinarily normal. I think that when I told people I was going to Uganda, they imagined that I’d be rocking orphaned babies to sleep and changing the world. I'm not. I go to class, brave the freezing water of a shower, cry about missing my little brother back home once in a while, crave American candy and chicken nuggets like crazy, find encouragement in the same Bible verses my friends do, and forget to bring toilet paper to bathroom. But how can I make this normal extraordinary? How can I incorporate kingdom living into my life here in Uganda for the next three months with more than my smile and a few words of encouragement tossed out to those who need it? I am called for that in my everyday life, whether I’m in Uganda or not. I’m praying to see it."

That is a quote from my friend lindsey who is studying abroad here as well. i love the point she makes in the very first couple sentences. I am not going to be doing amazing missions-trippy things while i am here. yes, i will be having moments that i hope i will cherish and remember forever. but while i am here, i am studying. living. being.
one of the key elements to african culture is learning how to just be. presence is a huge value here and people will just sit with each other for hours and consider it good quality time. In the states, we think we have to have deep, meaningful conversation, but every african i meet here loves you from the very start. they accept you like you are family, yet they dont even know you. this is something that i want to learn and take away while here. accepting people as they are. i hate how i am so quick to judge others. or say something bad about those around me when they arent around. this is definitely something God is instilling in me while i am here.
God has brought me to Uganda for a reason and as it says in esther "for such a time as this". even though i wont be doing ministry while i am here, i pray and know that He is going to be setting up divine appointments for certain conversations i will have with those around me that are just as much ministry as any missions trip. I am asking the Holy Spirit to give me the missionary mentality to gain the most out of all my interactions. as i am here for the next three months, and just being, I fully believe He is going to bring opportunities into my everyday life that will challenge those i come in contact with as well as stir up my spiritual convictions. One of the things we talk about in our classes is coming in with a "missionary mentality" but stepping back and not being so forward about changing the culture you are in right away. You cannot just drastically turn things around if you dont first embrace the environment, learn to be with and know the people, or understand where others are coming from.
I have things to learn too, i dont have all the answers. so for now i am learning to live with questions. and challenge my assumptions. even learn the hard lessons that i never "had time for" back in the states...

FYI...

so, some cultural insights that are good to know if you are to ever travel to the country of uganda in the near future:

• eating and walking at the same time is considered completely rude
• they value dressing up smart, and almost everyone you meet looks like a businessman.
• dinner is eaten at 9 or 10 o'clock PM every night, and then you go straight to bed, no questions asked
• guys in Uganda are SUPER forward. they will ask for your number or if you are married in the first five minutes of meeting you
• telling someone they are fat happens all the time and is somehow considered a compliment?
• soap operas are the TV shows for every person of the family. first they are made in the Philippines. then they are translated to Luganda (the native language here) and then to English. EVERYONE loves them. and they are the cheesiest thing i have ever seen.
• walking around in flip flops (like the old navy kind) is unacceptable because they are only ever used for the showers and only for that
• anytime is tea time
• there is no concept for lines in the stores, you basically just have to learn the art of cutting people off and it is not rude at all
• they play the same two commercials here. the most popular one is an Always pad commercial. hahha
• eating the same thing for every meal happens every single day with no complaints
• there is no such thing as too close for comfort.
• everything is incredibly cheap. you can buy an avocado for less than 25 cents. ride a taxi for an hour and only pay a 50 cent equivalent.. etc
• there are no changing seasons here. it is always 70-80 degrees and sunny. with a sudden expectancy of torrential downpour for an hour
• there is no word that translates into "please"

Mukono Homestay!

So these past two weeks have been a challenge to say the least. We had not only four days to live in our dorms on campus when they moved us into our homestays in Mukono, the town nearby campus. We have been moved around so much and it has been quite a transition. So, I met my host family, consisting of Maama Faith, Taata Godfrey, host sister Tina, and a bunch of other siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles who I cannot even say I know how they are related. Families here are huge, and if you have just four kids, it is considered small! All my relatives are older, in secondary school (high school) or university. I was hoping for little kids in my family, but the closest thing I have is the children who live nearby and go to the school right by my house. So I have gotten to let out my urge to play with little black children by talking to them and playing hand games with them. There is also this little boy named Arnold, who lives near me (in the first picture), who is the cutest little thing I have ever seen. He calls himself “Arnold-D!” and loves to grab onto my hand as soon as I get home and never let go. He plays with my watch all the time, pressing the buttons so it beeps. And touches my white skin, which every kid seems fascinated by.

             While I am living at my host home, I have to shower out of a bucket, which, I have still have yet to figure out how to successfully wash my hair and get all the soap out. (i also realized that the same bucket my host sister pees in in the middle of the night, is the same one i use to wash my hair…) The bathrooms at my home are called latrines. They are literally just the typical outhouse, hole in the ground, that after dark you have to take a flashlight with you so you don’t step on cockroaches in the process. My walk to school is 45 minutes, mostly uphill. so needless to say, i am sweating and so exhausted by the time i get to school. and my feet are covered in the red dirt, no matter how hard i try to not step in things along the way. one day this week it poured on my way to school and that was definitely an experience. And food! Food has been a wide variety between things that I have absolutely loved and others that completely gross me out. The very first meal I had was a huge bowl of withered, cooked greens and plopped on top was a huge fish. Head, eyes, bones, tail, and all. It was interesting. Apparently the eyes are the best part, a specialty. Ugggh, completely gross! Other meals I have had are the typical rice and beans. Or rice and mtoke (smashed together cooked bananas). Or gnut sauce. Gnuts are called ground nuts here, pretty much just peanuts. So they top their rice with this pink looking gnut sauce that is pretty banging. And fruits are in full supply here. Anything from passion fruits. To papaya. To mango. To avocado (for like 50 cents!). to pineapple. To jackfruits, which are now my new favorite! it tastes like a mix between a banana and pineapple. Laundry is out of a bucket as well. it is incredibly hard to actually get bubbles to form, and then you have to ring it dry and hang it on the line (which will dry it in tops of four hours, because the sun here is so hot).
            I share a room with my sister Tina (the other one in the picture), who is 23. She is super funny and she is the person that I feel like I can talk to anything about. My mom seemed nice on the first couple days, but since then, I haven’t talked to her much, or should I say the other way around. I try to engage in conversation with her and she just barely answers me. My dad comes across as very abrasive and forward. One of the very first conversations I have ever had with him was him telling me how I should always bow down and kneel to him, every time I see him. That there is no exception, that is a cultural way of greeting your superior and showing respect, and that I need to do it in order to fit in here. With my history with dads, this did not go over so well. Also, with my values and beliefs, I have a huge problem with bowing down to anyone but my Creator, God. I had my time of freak out and crying it over, but it has gotten better at my host home, since the beginning.
            I am learning that living overseas is hard, let alone trying to not offend locals and learn about the culture in the process. In our classes we have been talking a lot about our specific experiences and figuring out how to handle them and what to take away from the lessons we are learning. I have had a lot of free time to get into my devotions and have good jesus times because everything in the African homes are very laid back. There is so much free time, more than you know what to do with. I have been praying for my future and the plans God has for me. All the promises He has laid out for me! It has been very refreshing and rejuvenating. He has been teaching me so many lessons already, ones that cannot be learned in a textbook. I cannot wait for the rest of the semester, even though it is going to be a challenging time, I am ready for the hard times to come. I wanted this semester to be something that makes me completely dependent and reliant on God, and that is exactly what it looks like is going to happen when all this is through!
            So thanks for all your prayers and support back home! It is definitely appreciated! I have some of the most encouraging family and friends I could ever ask for, so thank you so much for keeping up with everything I am doing! You guys are what makes it possible for me to be here, and stay emotionally stable! Love you all!

Rwanda Genocide

Since i never posted about my time in Rwanda and the things we learned about the genocide, i ask my friend Haley if i could just post what she wrote about the topic. it encompasses all my feelings as well. and really portrays the horrific things and events that happened there...

No documentary, book, or classroom discussion can prepare you for the horror of the Rwanda genocide. For those of you who don’t know, over 800,000 people died in a period of 100 days. As I walked into the Rwanda Genocide Museum I see a room full of pictures of the dead. I stopped breathing. It’s overwhelming to see so much death in one place, it’s even more overwhelming to know that this room is only a fraction of the total. All I could do was cry. The next room over consisted of clear cases full of skulls and various bones. You could see the machete marks and the bullet holes. I kept crying. Right outside the rooms was the quote: “When they said, ‘Never again,’ did they mean for some and not for others?” The only thought I could muster was, “when did people stop mattering? Since when was human life not important enough to save?” My heart broke. The west failed Rwanda. Scratch that, the whole world failed Rwanda.

As I walk through the section of dead children, one sign stands out. The sign reads: “Cause of death- beat against a wall.” Those words took a new meaning when I walked into one of the genocide church memorials. Our guide led us into the church and showed us a section full of clothes from the dead. She said, “this is where all the children were kept. The black spots on the walls is blood from where their heads were bashed into the wall.” I thought I was going to be sick. I just stood and stared, wide eyed and horrified. Then she walked us out back and took us into a mass grave. Shelf after shelf was full of skulls and bones. My heart broke a little more.

I was only 2 years old when the genocide happened. There was nothing I could have done. But on that day, I found no solace in that. I have never been so disgusted to be an American in my entire life. We sat there while nearly a million people were slaughtered. I don’t know if I will ever be able to comprehend this.

Rwanda is a beautiful country, but when you look into the eyes of the people there you can still see the hurt. Their wounds have not quite healed. A speaker who survived the genocide came to speak to us. In reference to Rwanda he said: “This isn’t a bus, it’s an ambulance. We’re all wounded.” That is the only way I can think to wrap up this post, we’re all wounded.

prayer limits?

okay so i currently started the book "Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. I have only read the first twenty - something pages, but have already underlined almost every word. he talks about how nothing is too hard for God. But he goes a step further by saying that we arent challenging God enough in our prayer lives. if He can do the impossible, why arent we asking Him to in our lives?  i never thought about this before, but its so crazy to start imagining what could happen if people starting putting this theory to the test... 

He goes on to talk about not just pryaing ambiguously for your future, but specifically verbalize your desires and spelling out what you most want God to do in your life. "well-developed faith results in well-defined prayers." you have to know what you want, but what you want wont happen if its not in line with God's will.

so, im sitting here thinking about my future. possibly an adoption agency. or an orphanage. or a non-profit of some sort. a husband who loves the Lord. kids of my own. plus some adopted ones... all my goals and dreams. but then im also challenged to think if this theory of radical prayer has ever happened before in my life and it hits me...

im in uganda.         right now.

six months ago, this was just a goal. possibility. and what seemed like an unreachable feet for me (too much money, not safe enough, i would never be able to give up credits and a semester away from my home campus). however, i prayed long and hard about my desire to come to africa and study abroad and before i knew it, i was on a plane headed east. WHAT? really? ...its that easy?

if i didnt learn anything else, its that God's hand and timing are remarkable. He has got amazing things in store for those who love Him and seek His involvement in their lives. we just have to line up our deepest desires with His will and literally the sky is the limit.

personal prayer:

Father God, give me the raw dependence  it takes to trust you through anything and everything. i want to bring you praise with my life, but sometimes it feels like im just wandering, not knowing what comes next. lead me to the places and people that i can make a difference for you, i ask that you help  me to dream big and search for the promises you give me everyday. also, help  me to not worry about the details of my future because i know that you have it all in your hands. thanks for your incredible faithfulness in my life so far. you are beyond my comprehension.

I made it to Uganda!

I'm officially in Africa! Finally!
I am all moved into my dorm room with my roommate from Tennessee! Right when we arrived here, we saw all the red dirt and beautiful landscapes! God's majesty is all over this country! I still don't think it has hit me yet. that i'm here to stay. for four months. We had our first day of classes today and right when our professor started going over the syllabus, we saw tons of monkeys just running outside of the window. I guess that's going to take some getting used to!

As much as i would love to write out a huge long blog right now, i have to go get going on homework already. so i will keep it short and give you all a list of things i have compiled that i can already say i love about being here

Reasons why I love Uganda...

• Monkeys!
• Driving on the left
• chapatis!
• i dont have to shave my legs
• beautiful mountains
• black babies!
• washing clothes by hand is kinda fun
• red dirt
• balancing things on your head
• "you get it?"
• mosquito nets
• passion fruits, avocados, and endless other fruits
• bartering in the markets
• baby sacs... carrying them on your back
• the exchange rate makes you feel rich!
• the random surprise of spontaneous power outages