Thursday, November 22, 2012

is it the homesickness talking?


So, today just so happens to be thanksgiving. I have realized, while being away from home, how much I absolutely LOVE this American holiday and completely miss it while I’m away. It has been one of the hardest things to be away from home during my favorite season, and realized that I probably should have picked the spring semester to study abroad. I chose to be out of the country when the leave change colors, when pumpkins are carved, and candy corn is eaten, when you can walk down the street and hear that crunch when you step on a dead leaf, when kids dress up like anything they want and go from door to door to get free candy, when some of the best food out of the whole entire year is feasted on, or when you can simply just wear jeans and hoodie because the weather is starting to get cold but sooooo cozy. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have tons of other fall seasons and thanksgivings to come in the future that I can enjoy all these things to the fullest. But I guess being here in Uganda and away from a lot of the things I have celebrated and experienced since growing up has made me appreciate so much of the tradition of it all. It has made me realize just how truly blessed I am. God has given so much to me, most of which I have taken for granted up until this point.

I guess I just miss it all. I miss my family. My friends at school. and home. Okay, I will finally admit how homesick I am. Yes, I said it. I was trying for the longest time not to say it out loud or let myself be convinced of it because I knew just how long I would be away from home. And that’s just the thing, this is the longest I have ever been away, not just from home, but from school, or America in general, out of my environment that seems comfortable and safe. I think that’s why it has been so hard … because the entire time being here, it has been a stretching and growing experience, and sometimes that is just draining when it is done constantly, without a break. I promise I’m not trying to complain or be a debbie-downer- just being real. I don’t know how missionaries do it, completely moving their whole lives to be present in a different culture. I am sure once they get used to it all and settled in, it is not as difficult and they don’t think twice about it, but we do give them the credit they deserve, because let me be the first to say how much of an adjustment it can be! It’s one thing to experience a lot of awesome life-changing things in a different place, but when apart from friends, family, and those that matter most, it doesn’t mean as much, with no one to share it with. I keep finding that my heart and body have not been in the same place for a while now. My body is here, living life out daily in this place, but all my heart wants right now is to be back in Pennsylvania with everyone I love. fortunately  my one friend here was "prescribed" homesickness medicine. on the bottle it literally says, "for severe homesickness or chronic fatigue caused by culture shock or adaptation. take one to two tablets by mouth every day or as needed." haha, you curious as to what exactly it is? sweet tarts, for kids at camp that miss their families. hahaaaa, but i have been taking some and its seems to be getting me through! (: 


On a more positive note, the friends I have come here with, all the other Uganda Studies Program (USP) students and I are at least able to eat a thanksgiving dinner together. Tonight we have planned to eat turkey that is grilled, because it wont fit in the ovens here. We will have sweet potatoes/yams, corn, maybe mac and cheese, and tons of desserts that us students had to make ourselves. We pretty much will go all out with as much of the foods as we can make here! I plan to eat to my shrunken stomach bursts open, because this is the first time in… well, all semester that we will not be eating just rice and beans. I also have a skype date planned with my ENTIRE family later today and I am soooooo looking forward to seeing everyone!

As much as I am ready to head back home, my time here has been anything short of great. I have made some REALLY good and close Ugandan friends that it is going to be hard to depart from. I know I am going to be a mess when it comes time to actually say goodbye. I will most likely be crying up a storm, knowing that our only contact from here on out will just be facebook or letters. Ahh, it’s so bittersweet!

No comments:

Post a Comment