attempting to clear my stage

so as i have been back from uganda, and trying to pick my life back up here in america, it has been one of my top priorities to try to completely just focus on God at this time. Uganda brought new and fresh perspective into my life and i saw him in a completely different way than ever before, so now i am attempting to really rely on Him for everything in my life here in the states. its one thing to go overseas and be able to be faithful through actions and words when things are not familiar, but its another when it is your daily routines, when it affects what you are used to, and when distractions get in the way again because life just gets busy again. it is so easy to fall back into bad habits or just get sidetracked with everything going on. so thats my mission right now. thats what im trying to work on. getting back to just me and Him. no distractions. no idols. nothing else on my stage.

first world problems

So, in class lately, we have been talking about poverty. as much as this is a funny little video to portray it, the way we complain about our problems really mean nothing in the scope of problems that other people face around the world.

This is just a challenge to keep yourself (and myself included) in check about what comes out of our mouths and how we should realize how blessed we really are...

prayer limits?

okay so i currently started the book "Circle Maker" by Mark Batterson. I have only read the first twenty - something pages, but have already underlined almost every word. he talks about how nothing is too hard for God. But he goes a step further by saying that we arent challenging God enough in our prayer lives. if He can do the impossible, why arent we asking Him to in our lives?  i never thought about this before, but its so crazy to start imagining what could happen if people starting putting this theory to the test... 

He goes on to talk about not just pryaing ambiguously for your future, but specifically verbalize your desires and spelling out what you most want God to do in your life. "well-developed faith results in well-defined prayers." you have to know what you want, but what you want wont happen if its not in line with God's will.

so, im sitting here thinking about my future. possibly an adoption agency. or an orphanage. or a non-profit of some sort. a husband who loves the Lord. kids of my own. plus some adopted ones... all my goals and dreams. but then im also challenged to think if this theory of radical prayer has ever happened before in my life and it hits me...

im in uganda.         right now.

six months ago, this was just a goal. possibility. and what seemed like an unreachable feet for me (too much money, not safe enough, i would never be able to give up credits and a semester away from my home campus). however, i prayed long and hard about my desire to come to africa and study abroad and before i knew it, i was on a plane headed east. WHAT? really? ...its that easy?

if i didnt learn anything else, its that God's hand and timing are remarkable. He has got amazing things in store for those who love Him and seek His involvement in their lives. we just have to line up our deepest desires with His will and literally the sky is the limit.

personal prayer:

Father God, give me the raw dependence  it takes to trust you through anything and everything. i want to bring you praise with my life, but sometimes it feels like im just wandering, not knowing what comes next. lead me to the places and people that i can make a difference for you, i ask that you help  me to dream big and search for the promises you give me everyday. also, help  me to not worry about the details of my future because i know that you have it all in your hands. thanks for your incredible faithfulness in my life so far. you are beyond my comprehension.

God-sized hugs

do you ever wonder what you would do if you were God?

would you be so gracious with humanity as He is?

i mean, He gave us free will. which is a big thing in itself.

he could have just created us as robots,

with the program in our heads to do as we are told.

yet, as homosapiens, we disappoint God constantly.

we cannot even make it through one day without sinning.

what a frustrating concept if you were the one who created all of that.

I know i would not have that much patience to watch my hand-crafted creations disobey me right in front of my eyes.

to put it in the words of one of my best friends at school

"If i were God, lightening would be my hobby!"

how many times a day do we have to go crawling back to Him for forgiveness and to say our apologies, just to screw up again in the future.

im getting upset at myself just talking about it.

if only we would be more appreciative for the second, third, fourth, even eightieth tries God grants us!

boy am i glad God loves me!

dim lighting.

so i know i have talked about living with questions before.

but i would like to take that topic and expand on it.

back home, my home church that i grew up in has grown to over 3 or 4 thousand people!

i try to podcast the sermons as much as possible.

here's the link if anyone is interested...  christian life assembly podcasts

this past week, i had the time and the pastor talked about taking leaps of faith and looking for God's direction in our lives.

even amongst confusion and uncertainty.

he brought up three points, with multiple Bible verses to back them up:

1) Put God first

2) Take leaps of faith

3) The destination will be worth it all.

afterwords, he explained Psalm 119:105

"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path."

A lantern is not very bright. but yet, that's what He says He uses to guide us.

this means that we can't see a mile down the road, but only a step.

we need to be able to trust God that where He is leading us is where is best for us.

that the destination will be worth all the leaping, trusting, and not knowing.

so, yes questions are good. but we will always be living by faith, and not by sight.

non-christian grammer lessons.

In my college writing class we have to write an essay on just what God means to us by describing a place.
a tangible, visible, touchable location.
This is incredibly hard to do because those are all things God is not.
He is a supernatural being, who cannot be confined to one place in time, let alone be described by words.
there's a worship song we sing from time to time that goes...

"Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God"

This song describes the very being of God and how we as humans cannot understand Him.

Yet, we still try to.

Most of us are still trying to fit him on a grid or chart his love.

This is impossible.
Where im getting at is, this is why the act of "witnessing" is so difficult.
because we ourselves do not even fully understand God to all degrees.
i am struggling to finish this essay, but in reality, this shows that if i was faced with the perfect opportunity to share God with someone, i would probably be stumbling for words to describe the feeling i get when i'm in God's presence or feel his love.
Truth is, we all need to brush up on our non-christian vocabulary and learn how to describe what we believe in a logical way that makes people think.

This way, we will not be left scratching our heads, and at a loss for words when the time comes.

one person i know that is extremely good at putting his beliefs into words is my old youth pastor.

he moved to greece to become a missionary with his family recently. 

he has a blog that he keeps up with so that people back in the states, like me, can see what he is up to

here is a link to his blog. http://becominggreek.typepad.com/becoming_greek/

i encourage you to read some of his posts, they are challenging.

i mean how many of us would be willing to get up, leave everything we know as familiar, and live in a foreign country?

beauty in the eye of the beholder...

Can I just start off by saying that I love God?

He is so amazing! I had the opportunity to go on a retreat this weekend off in the secluded mountains, with the gorgeous fall colored leaves, and log cabins, campfires, and horseback riding.

It was so nice to just get away. to really not focus on school or worry about facebook. But just tune into God and spend the weekend growing in his presence and his creation. 

This weekend confirmed in me why I am a Christian. why I believe in what i do...

By even looking at God's creation in the fall with all the different colors of the leaves.

red.orange.yellow.green.

How can you not stand in awe??

I encourage you this week to look around you,
pay attention to something that you might not have noticed before
about God's creation. be it big or small.

Sunsets. the fall. stars. and flowers. are my weaknesses.

when i see them, all i can do is marvel and praise God!

"It is amazing how much we can endure when we're convinced there is a purpose to our struggles."

do you ever find yourself completely thirsting for God?
of course we have all been there
we occasionally have some amazing hyped-up-Churchy-God-moments and we think we can live in that state for the rest of our lives. (FULL)
but the truth is, our schedules start piling up, our energy is spent on other endeavors, and life gets in the way. (EMPTY)
we can never fully keep that up.
kind of like a gas tank meter. 
our spiritual lives are bound to have ups and downs.

hard and easy. 

sometimes I find it more difficult to focus on God when my days are going well. 

Its those times that I feel like I can handle life on my own. without His divine intervention.

but, the fact of the matter is, we have to continue seeking God and following Him when it's hard, AND when it's easy.

The hard times are growing experiences, but the easy ones can be too.

try to let every day be a learning experience.

"We rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:3-4

questions

recently i have been wondering a lot about where God is leading me. 

i have been praying that i would follow His Will for my life... 

but what exactly is that will?

how do i know what exactly God wants me to do

sometimes i just wish God would smack me over the head with it, instead of giving me all these options.

but something my professor said this week, resonated with me...

"mature faith is being able to live with questions."

this is one thing that i pray for all the time.

...the ability to live with questions.

being an organized person and all, it's hard not knowing what's coming next. or when. or why.

But that's what faith is all about right?

Dictionary.com defines faith as: "Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence"

i don't know what God has planned for me.

but whatever it is, i know that i can trust Him to reveal that to me in his timing... 

i just need to learn to be patient and live with the unanswered questions i have.

i challenge you to do the same.

and trust me, i'm still a work-in-progress. haha :)

bucket list.

as i was looking through one of my old journals

i stumbled across a really old list labeled "life goals"
i don't remember writing it, but there were things on that list that were pretty interesting.
some were serious like get married, graduate high school, have kids, travel, and so on...
but others were hilarious, and made me wonder

just how old i was when i wrote them down.
never get overweight, ride in a hot air balloon, own ten pairs of chucks.
haha. but as stupid as some of these sound,

it motivated me to start a new list. a real one.
so i did.
and now im encouraging you to do the same.
but dont just write a list, start thinking about ways that

you can make some of these things start happening.
it shouldnt just be a checklist...

and don't just think about yourself

how could you benefit someone else?

maybe contribute to sponsoring a kid in a foreign country or go on a missions trip?

the possibilities are endless.
we only have one life to live, let's make it memorable.

TODAY IS A GIFT, THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE PRESENT

  :D